Need help surviving infidelity?

The discovery of infidelity in a relationship is often experienced like a trauma.  It shatters one’s trust in the offending party and trust in one’s own perception of reality.  For the offender, it usually produces a profound sense of guilt and shame.  Anger, sadness, and fear are also common emotions experienced by both parties.

The healing process has three necessary prongs:

  1. making sure no further damage is done to the relationship,
  2. understanding why the infidelity occurred at all levels—individual, couple, and external environment, and creating a shared understanding of the infidelity, and
  3. making decisions about how to move forward into the future as a couple.

Building trust is a long-term process that involves three prongs:

  1. the offender is accountable for his/her actions, taking responsibility for the damage done to the relationship,
  2. the offender is honest about transgressions and works towards transparency and transfer of vigilance, allowing open access to his/her life and protecting the injured from re-traumatizing experiences, and
  3. the offender communicates empathy of the suffering to the injured.

The process of forgiveness is also complex; it involves the willingness of the injured to forgive and the offender taking steps to earn that forgiveness.

The Gottman approach provides communication and relationship tools to help you navigate through the above challenges.  As a Certified Gottman Couples Therapist, I will provide a safe, supportive environment to help you confront this experience together and develop more effective communication skills to cope with its challenges.  If you decide that staying together and working through the process of forgiveness are your goals, then I will help you build trust and increase intimacy in your relationship.

Call 512-689-7105 for an appointment today!